How to Be a Human Being
by skelatorlore
Summary: Gwen is a girl with a recently troubled past. With the help of a friend, she is given a new start in La Push; a small town that is very different from her old home in Seattle. Originally sent there to help care for her friend's elderly mother, and help run her flower shop that has been there since the 60's, Gwen finds that La Push has more to offer than an escape from her past.
1. Chapter 1

**S.M. owns everything but the original characters I have included.**

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Chapter One

For 83 years old, Gail Lovett was extremely mobile.

When I had envisioned an 83-year-old widow living in the middle of nowhere, I was picturing someone much more... confined. Someone who couldn't handle living alone. That clearly wasn't the case with Gail. Most women her age were crippled with arthritis or had to sit on a lift in order to go upstairs. But I wouldn't be surprised if Gail could climb up one of the trees next to her house and jump through her upstairs window as an alternative.

Needless to say, I don't understand why her daughter insisted I come down here to be her "caretaker", as she called it. Neither did Gail.

Her daughter, Joanne, was quite insistent that her mother was, as she put it, "Extremely frail and heading towards her last days." I was surprised to find out that Gail was very welcoming to the idea of me staying there, even though when I first contacted her she insisted that she was as healthy and vibrant as she was in her teens.

"Good oh golly that daughter of mine," she told me when I met her over the phone, "always thinkin' I'm made of glass just because I'm old and alone."

When I was offered the job, I was expecting just that. An old and lonely woman who needed some company, and some help walking down her front porch. However, when I first got to her house I was met with a lively woman, who most _definitely_ did _not_ look 83, gardening in her front yard. When she saw me, she leaped up from her knees (faster than I ever could) and threw me in for the tightest hug of my life. I immediately loved her.

Gail stood at a very short height of 5'2. She had long, silver hair that I was sure would reach her knees if she didn't have it in a braid. She was dressed in very vibrant colors, wearing a pink short-sleeved dress with yellow polka dots over a light blue turtle neck. She also wore bright orange knee-high socks, black leather rain boots, and a plain straw sun hat, despite the lack of sun. She was a beam of brightness in the seemingly endless amount of mossy green that practically encompassed the entire town.

"Hello hello hello!" she practically screamed as she ran up to me, "Why, you must be that sweet ole' Jen my daughter sent me!"

I smiled even though she got my name wrong, she was too adorable for me to be annoyed.

"Gwen, actually." I corrected.

"What?" she asked with her hand cupped around her ear.

 _"Gwen."_ I repeated in a louder tone.

"Ah I see. Gwen! Sorry hun, as much as I try to keep myself young, some of the more biological aspects of aging can't be kept at bay, hearing included. Plus, my wrinkles are here to prove it."

She then used her hand to gesture to the tiny wrinkles surrounding her face. Even though they were there, they weren't prominent enough to make me think she was a day over 65. When I told her this, she laughed it off and said something along the lines of "Well, I'm glad my daughter sent you here after all!"

"Gail and Gwen." she pondered, "G and G. It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"Yeah, it does." G and G. How sentimental.

"Well let's not stand out here with the mosquitoes! Let's go inside, I'll show you around. Give you the grand tour."

Gail's home was fairly small, but it was comfortable. From the outside it looked like an old cottage. On the inside, it gave off the feel of an old antique shop, with every wall and every aspect of the house covered in pictures and artifacts. I walked around the house in constant fear that I would break something, yet Gail would practically bounce off the walls. Every time I would walk through the front door, I would find something new to look at, and Gail always had a story behind each piece.

We passed the living room, which only had a television, a chair, and a loveseat. The rest of the room was taken over by all sorts of antiques. I was surprised that there was so much to look at. Walking through her living room the first time, three things caught my attention: a life size statue of a baby bear in a circus uniform, bouncing on a ball; a movie poster of a film that looked to be foreign, Indian; and a piano that looked to be, at least, fifty years old. I wondered if she would let me play it. I could use a hobby, something to distract me from the current situation I was in.

She then showed me the kitchen, which was more like a kitchenette. It was in the same space as the living room. If you were watching the television and wanted a glass of tea, it took less than ten steps to reach the fridge. Of course, everything in the kitchen looked to be old. The cabinets were a pale brown, but only looked that way due to the fading of the color over the years. The oven didn't even look useable, like something that would have a "Do Not Touch" sign in a museum. The fridge, however, looked fairly new. The old one must have broken. All in all, it was very different from my kitchen back in the city.

I probably should've mentioned to Joanne that I could barely figure out how to work the kitchen appliances back in Seattle… and that I didn't really know how to cook. I wasn't sure how I was going to operate a century-old oven.

She led me down the hallway which was covered in all sorts of portraits, photos, and paintings. The first door was my bathroom, which was extremely clean. Like she had scrubbed it down in preparation for my arrival.

"This is your _private_ bathroom." She said, "Well, not completely private. Of course, my own bathroom is connected to my room on the other side of the house, but if we were to have any guests, they would use this bathroom."

I smiled at her, I appreciated her attempt to make me feel entitled to my own space. We continued to walk down the hall into the next room: my bedroom.

"Here it is!", she said. "Your room! Hasn't been slept in since my Jo-Jo was in college."

It was a small room with only a twin bed in one corner, a desk in the other, and a window facing the backyard. The wooden floor panels creaked with every step and unlike the rest of the house, the walls were completely bare. Like a blank canvas.

"I know it's not what you're used to," she continued, "Jo-Jo told me you came from big money in the city- but it's all yours! Leave it messy, I won't care. I won't snoop. Decorate it however you want! You could even paint it to give it some color."

"No, it's perfect. Trust me. Just my size." I gave her a gentle smile and went to go put down my single, tiny suitcase.

"Alrighty then. I'll leave you to unpack. I'm gonna go pick up the mess I made in the front yard, I'll be back in a jiffy."

She made her exit. I could hear her tiny, but quick footsteps make their way down the hall and back out to the front yard.

When I was in the clear, I practically flopped down onto the mattress. Face first. I took a deep breath in. Clean sheets. They smelt like lavender.

I turned over, looked up at the ceiling, and let out a huge sigh. I was finally here. The bus drive down from Seattle only took four hours, and the cheapest ticket I could afford meant that the bus was leaving at 5 am. What I learned from that experience was that people waiting at a Greyhound station at 4 am were the strangest kind of people. Among those at the stop with me was a man who was preparing ramen noodles in what looked to be a fish bowl, a man in a neon yellow morph suit, and a girl dressed in a Princess Peach costume. Normally, I would assume she was leaving a costume party. However, it was in the middle of June. On a Wednesday.

One woman that caught my attention was full-on sobbing on the bench next to me. She carried no sense of embarrassment. She didn't attempt to disguise her tears, not caring who stared. Those who cry in public like that have done it so many times that they have become used to the shame. I felt sorry for her, but I also felt connected to her. Did she come from a similar situation as me? Or was she crying over something simpler, a man. I suddenly felt the need to reach out to this stranger, to let her know that we would both find peace, even if it felt years away. But I didn't want to give this woman sentiments I couldn't find myself to believe in.

On top of the four-hour bus ride, the cab from Port Angeles to La Push was another hour, and the fare was _not_ cheap. Apparently, people don't come down here often, from what the driver told me. I even had to give him directions from my phone at one point. After that, the walk from Gail's driveway, from the path through the woods, to her front door took me nearly fifteen minutes. I was beginning to think that I had gotten lost.

By the time I had arrived, it was about noon. It was nice to finally lay down on an actual bed, especially one with clean sheets, in a room that I could call my own. I was beginning to grow accustomed to the feeling of sleeping next to strangers every night. The emotions running through me were so overwhelming that I grabbed the pillow from under my ear, put it over my face, and began to silently weep.

 _"Calm down. This is your home now._ "I thought to myself, _"La Push is your home."_

With that, I got up from the bed, walked over to the window, and looked outside.

Flowers. Dozens and dozens of different kinds of flowers.

 _"Better than my old view of the city."_

So much better.

* * *

Shortly after my episode, I heard Gail come back into the house and down the hall. I quickly wiped away my tears and tried to make it look like I was almost done unpacking- which didn't take much effort considering I had only two shirts, three pairs of underwear and a single pair of jeans.

She knocked on the frame of my door, "All settled?" she asked.

"Just about!" I gave her a smile to make it appear as if I was okay, but something in her eyes told me that she knew I wasn't.

"Alright dear, when you're ready I thought that you could drive me down to the post office, then we can grab a bite to eat. You hungry?"

I didn't realize how hungry I was until she mentioned it. My stomach nearly leapt out of my abdomen at the thought of food.

"Yeah. Actually, yeah I really am."

"Well of course you are! Skinny ole' thing you are. I'll be in the living room watching my soaps, come get me when you're ready."

She walked down the hall into the living room. I turned to put my clothes into the dresser. I felt like I had to open it with extreme caution. It too was very old, like everything else in this house.

As I walked down the hall, I began to look closely at the pictures that were hanging there. Some of them were landscapes, one appeared to be a picture of the house as it was being built, but most were of a young Gail Lovett. She had curly, red hair that went all the way down to her lower back. She was short and thin. She was always smiling. Not very different from the Gail that was watching old reruns of _The Young and the Restless_ in the next room over.

What was different, however, was that the majority of the pictures featured a young, handsome, tan, and _very muscly_ man. He had hair almost as long as Gail's, and just like her he was always smiling. One picture in particular made me smile, myself. It was a picture of the man holding an infant baby in his arms, lifting it high into the air.

 _"This must be Gail's late husband."_ I thought, _"Joanne's father."_

"So, I see you've found my Hall of Fame!" said Gail from down the hall.

I shook with surprise, I felt like I was invading her personal space, like I got caught reading someone's diary.

She walked over to me and gazed at the picture I was looking at, the one with the man holding a baby Joanne.

"Ah," she said, "I see you've come across my late husband, Johnny."

"Yeah," I said softly, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"I would say don't be, but I would be a hypocrite. I think about that man every single day of my existence."

She ran her fingertips across the picture of Johnny's face, "My-oh-my he was such a handsome man. And look at baby Joanne, at her chubby cheeks. This was the day we finally got to meet her."

I was confused. The baby in the picture had to be at least six months old.

"What do you mean, _meet_ her?" I asked.

"Oh, you didn't know? My baby girl was adopted!"

"Oh. No. I didn't know that." Joanne looked so much like Gail, she had red curly hair, dark eyes, and wasn't exactly a tall person. Just one of those things, I suppose.

"Yes, ma'am. We were so blessed to be gifted a girl as bright and kind as my Jo-Jo."

"Yeah, I agree with you. You raised a wonderful woman."

And boy, did she. Joanne was, single-handedly, the most important person I have ever met in my life.

"Of course, we tried to do it the natural way, more often than we should if you know what I mean." She waggled her eyebrows at me, as if the innuendo wasn't enough. I chuckled at her spryness.

"However," she continued, "it seemed that I just couldn't get pregnant. No buns in my oven. In fact, my oven was _fried._ "

She walked more down the hall and began to point out more pictures of Joanne. Joanne in diapers. Joanne's yearbook photos. There was one of which that looked like Joanne on the first day of school, with a backpack twice her size strapped on her back.

"Johnny said that it didn't matter." She continued, "Said that we didn't have to worry about doing it the old-fashioned way. That we could adopt. Took a while, but we finally got a bouncing baby girl." She ran her fingers over another picture of Johnny's face, the last one on the wall. It was then that I noticed the pictures were hung in chronological order.

"How did he... um." I struggled with my words, I didn't want to be insensitive. "How did he…"

"How did he die?" she finished my question for me.

I nodded.

"A very, _very_ tragic death. Bear attack. Johnny loved going out into the woods with his friends to hunt, one day he got too close." She rested her hands on a necklace she had around her neck. Two rings on a chain, I noticed. Her wedding rings.

I've never met anyone who looked at a picture with so much love and so much pain at the same time. They must have had something special. The kind of love that most people search for, but never find. I was jealous.

"Joanne was only fourteen when he died." She continued, "We were together for thirty-two years."

"And you never remarried?" I asked, completely shocked. Twenty-seven years was a long time to be alone in a place like La Push.

"Nope. Never even considered it. Johnny was the only man for me."

With that final sentiment, she turned to me and placed her hand on my shoulder, "You ready to go see the rest of the reservation?"

"Um, yeah. Let's go."

"Don't get too excited, now." She chuckled at my lack of enthusiasm and tossed me something. Despite my usual clumsiness, I caught it. A pair of keys.

"Those are the keys to my truck." she continued, "You're gonna drive. Even though I can drive just as well as I could when I bought the damned thing, I figure you should actually do what you were sent here to do."

With that, we began our long walk down the trail to her truck.

As much as I missed the city, I couldn't deny the beauty of this place. There was so much to look at. Of course, there as a lot to look at in Seattle as well, but the view mainly consisted of homeless people, hipster teenagers, and abandoned Starbucks cups on the sidewalk. In La Push, everything was green. The trees, the grass, the moss. _So much_ moss. It was like someone took a green blanket and placed it over the entirety of the reservation. But I loved it, it gave off some sort of calming effect. When something wasn't green, the color was only intensified. The purple wildflowers in Gail's backyard appeared brighter, the blue paneling of her house was brighter. My favorite, however, was the red rose bush in her front yard. The red mixed with the green made it feel like Christmas.

We finally arrived at Gail's truck. I offered to help her into the passenger side, since it was pretty high up. She refused, of course, and climbed in the truck with no problem at all. I climbed in the other side, buckled up, put the key in the ignition, and started it up. Only it didn't start. I tried two more times. Nothing. I looked over to Gail and gave her a look that said, _"Help me out here?"_ She rolled her eyes, leaned over, and turned the key. It immediately roared to life.

I stared at the wheel in shock. I didn't look at her, but I'm almost positive that she was hiding a laugh. I looked behind me to back out of the driveway, but I was distracted by how much black, dense smoke was coming out of the exhaust.

 _"Jesus, this tank must be taking a chunk out of the environment. Wonder how much gas it takes."_

I backed out of the driveway and started driving down the road. While giving me directions, she would point out anything she deemed important.

" _Oh!_ " she pointed at a small building, "That's one of the only shops on the reservation. They have the cutest little couple runnin' that place."

" _Oh!_ " she pointed at a large tree. "That's one of my favorite spots in the area, it also marks a short cut to the beach."

" _Oh!_ " she pointed at a house on my right, "That's the Clearwater's house! Sue Clearwater is a dear friend of mine, she has the most darling children."

After a series of twists and turns, we had finally made it to the post office, which was on the complete opposite of the small town. Although Gail had a lot to point out on the drive over, there really wasn't a lot to look at, besides the natural beauty, in the grand scheme of things. La Push was certainly a town of few and far in between.

We hopped out of the truck. As we walked up to the front door, another couple emerged.

"Well, I'll be!" shouted Gail, "If it isn't a couple of the Clearwaters!"

The women smiled and struck up a conversation with Gail, I stayed behind and waited to be introduced.

The older woman that Gail was currently talking to must've been Sue Clearwater. Much like Gail, she too had long hair that went to her knees. It was a beautiful dark brown, with hints of silver strands that defined her age. I would say that she was in her mid-to-late fifties, but her physical appearance could've caused me to believe that she was in her forties. Especially when she smiled. Laughter _really_ _must_ keep you young. The younger woman who was staring off into space must've been her daughter. Funny, I figured that the Clearwater children were younger, like in their teens. This woman must've been in her mid-twenties.

Gail suddenly turned her head towards me, "Gwen! What are you standin' over there for? Come socialize!" Jesus did that remind me of my mother.

I reluctantly walked over to the small group. "Hi." I muttered. I was never one for socialization.

"Ugh, this one is tough to crack. This is Gwen, the young lady my daughter _so graciously_ sent to take care of me in my _dying days_." She rolled her eyes at this, clearly being sarcastic. "Gwen, this is Sue and Leah Clearwater! Dear friends of mine."

They both took me in, as if they were analyzing my every movement. Surely, they weren't used to people moving into La Push rather than moving out. The fact that Gail had a new "roommate" must've been a shock to them.

"Gwen. That's such a pretty name!" said Sue. I smiled in return.

Leah gave me a tight-lipped smile, as if she were uncomfortable with my presence.

"Miss Gwen here just arrived from the big city this morning!" said Gail.

"So, you're from Seattle, then?" asked Sue.

"Yeah, I was born there."

"Born and raised, huh? I'm sure La Push is pretty different compared to what you're used to, then."

That was an understatement. "Just a tad." I laughed at the irony, so did she.

"Well, welcome to the neighborhood!"

I liked Sue. She was a gentle soul. Very motherly.

"Say, Leah." interrupted Gail, "How is Emily doing? That baby pop out yet?"

Leah gave another tight-lipped smile in a guise to be friendly. Something in her demeanor told me she didn't like this "Emily" girl.

"Um, yeah!" She responded, "Yeah, she's due any day now."

While Gail bubbled up at the mention of a due date and started a side conversation with Sue, I studied Leah. She was a very beautiful woman, with dark hair like her mother's. In fact, she looked just like Sue. Her eyes told me she was angry at this woman, Emily. But, the way she spoke about the pregnancy made her appear sad. Which led me to believe that she was experiencing an emotion I knew all too well; She didn't dislike this woman, she was envious of her.

Suddenly, she turned her head and made eye contact with me. I quickly turned my head and acted like I was listening to the conversation. I joined as they started discussing the topic of baby names. I could still feel Leah's eyes on me. _Jesus, she must think I'm a freak._

After Gail mentioned something about making a bouquet for Emily, they said their goodbyes. I watched as they hopped in their truck. Even after all this time, Leah still kept her eyes locked on me. Like she thought of me as an outsider, which I suppose I was. I dragged my eyes away from hers and followed Gail inside. _There goes my first opportunity of making a friend here._

After we were done with her business at the post office, she directed me to a diner down the street. As we ate our lunch, I was once again met with curious stares from the La Push community; all wondering and whispering about the newcomer. I was shocked that she paid, even after I offered to split the check.

"No offense, hun." she said in response, "But with what money?"

I couldn't be offended, because she was right. I spent my last few dollars on the bus ride over here.

With that, we hopped back in the truck and headed back to the house.

Later that evening, as she was heading to bed, Gail stopped by my room. "Tomorrow," she said, "we head over to my flower shop. I'll teach you the ropes."

I gave her a smile and a quick nod, which she returned back to me. After she left, I walked over to the window and gazed at the moon. I wondered what the sobbing woman at the bus station was doing, if she had reached her final destination. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of howling coming from the woods.

 _"A lone wolf."_ I thought, _"Just like me."_

I once again looked up at the sky and gazed at the stars. I remember feeling so small in that moment, like my life was so insignificant compared to the rest of the happenings in the universe.

Little did I know that the next couple of weeks would be the most important of my life.

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 **This is my first fic... ever.. so feel free to leave a review so I can know how to improve my writing! Aiming for a slow build. I'm pretty much writing this so I can improve my writing skills, but I'm also writing this so I can practice commitment. That being said, I'm going to try to update this about every two weeks. (whether this gets any attention or not.) Anyways, let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**S.M. owns everything, except my characters. (Do we even need to say this at the beginning? I'm only putting this because I've seen it on all the other fics I've read... if someone could explain to me why that needs to be there I'd appreciate it. Message me!)**

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Chapter Two

Have you ever experienced a sleep so peaceful, a sleep that held no dreams, a sleep that provided so much rest, that you were confused when you woke up?

That was my exact experience the following morning, when I was awoken by the flashing of my bedroom light turning off and on again. Resisting, I flipped my head into the pillow underneath me to avoid the lights that seemed to be piercing their rays into my brain, but to no avail. Moments later, my blanket was torn from my bed, exposing me to the chilling air.

"Now," shouted Gail, "get up now! We have got a busy day today, you and I!"

Jesus, that's right. I wasn't in Seattle anymore. I was in La Push. A place that provided me so much safety and comfort, yet proved to be a constant reminder of my fucked up situation.

"C'mon now," she continued, "my daughter ain't paying you to sleep in bed all day."

Oh, right. I had almost forgotten that the main reason I was sent here was to work.

It was only my second day in the small town, but Gail insisted that she start teaching me how to run the flower shop. She claimed that we were "running late", yet when I checked my phone shortly after waking up the time was 6 am. The sun wasn't even up. Early bird gets the worm, I suppose. And who am I to complain about getting fed.

After I showered and ate a bowl of cereal, I reached for the pair of truck keys on the key hook next to the door. However, I was interrupted.

"We won't be needing those, darlin'." said the old woman.

I was confused. "I thought we were going to the flower shop today?"

"Oh, hun, we are! You'll find that I like to keep what's dear to me close to home. C'mon, let's get a move on."

Still confused, I followed her outside into the chilling air of the reservation.

"Now," she continued, "my flower shop is not the most booming in terms of business, but it keeps me busy. You're probably only going to get two or three customers, if any, once we open."

"Is that why it's only open on Tuesday and Thursday?"

"Yes ma'am!" she said with a smile. "Of course, I would be open all day every day if I could- and I used to be, for that matter. However, as I grow older it does get harder to run the shop for that long. Plus, I hate to see the flowers wither and die due to lack of business."

There was an absence of conversation after that, the crunching of the leaves beneath our feet breaking the silence for us. The sun was beginning to peak through the branches, and I began to hear birds chirping overhead. Mother Nature had finally begun to start her morning, even though we had started ours just over an hour ago.

Finally, we had reached the end of the trail and had arrived at her truck. Gail continued to walk in the same direction, crossing the street and walking towards the house on the property across it. It was then that I realized she wasn't walking towards some random house across the street, she was walking towards her flower shop. When I first arrived, I assumed that the house belonged to her neighbors.

Next to the mailbox on the property was a large rectangle covered with a sheet, and when we arrived to said rectangle, Gail removed the sheet to reveal a sign that read, "G's Flower Shoppe". Under the initial display read a smaller print, "Yes, We're Actually Open!"

She took the sheet and shook off the morning dew, then wrapped it into a ball and hoisted it under her arm. "Alrighty. Let's go on in shall we?"

She whipped out a pair of keys that were on a comically large chain and unlocked the door.

"Here it is!" She spread out her tiny arms in a display of pride. I was surprised to discover that the shop was much smaller on the inside that the outside led on. "My baby. This ole' place looks just as nice as when we bought it in the sixties."

"The sixties?" I wondered aloud. "You've been in business since the sixties?"

"Yes, ma'am. Indeed, I have. While Johnny went out to work in the car shop, I came here. Five days a week. Even when Jo-Jo was a baby, I'd still come in Monday through Friday. I'd bring her here with me- even make her work out here herself when she was old enough. Luckily, she wasn't allergic to pollen. That would've proved to have been an issue." She paused her story to laugh at her own joke.

"However," she continued, "I did close up shop for a little while there. Two years actually." She clutched the chain around her neck. "After Johnny died, I couldn't handle it. I couldn't work. People came a-knockin', wanting to buy flowers and such, but no one was home. In a town like this, word gets out fast, rumors spread. People started sayin' that I had couldn't handle Johnny's death- which was partly true- and that I'd become a hermit. That however, was not true. Not at all. I just went up to my sister's back home in Georgia for some company.

"Word got back to me that people had begun saying the most nastiestthings. Apparently, people had thought that I had become terrified of the woods, because of the bear attack. So terrified, in fact, that I wouldn't step a single foot outside of my home- and wouldn't let Jo-Jo out either. I even got phone calls! Instead of just letting rumors be, people actually had the audacity to call me up and let me know that my daughter needed some vitamin D- meanwhile she was playing outside with her cousin's in the Georgia sun.

She scoffed at the memory, then continued.

"That's when I knew that it was time to come home. Jo-Jo and I packed up our things, said our goodbyes, and came back. Put those rumors to rest. Got the shop up and runnin' again. Even though I wanted to stay with my sister, I always knew I would come back to La Push. This town and I have too much history for me to just up and leave the damned place." She swiped her finger along one of the windowsills. Dust.

"Well," she sighed, "now I know what we need to do first. Be a dear and go grab the cleaning supplies out from under the register, will you? I haven't stepped foot in this place since last Thursday."

I did as she asked, and together we began to clean.

As I was dusting and wiping the area of the shop, Gail would tell more stories. Mainly, the stories consisted of the various misadventures her and her husband would get into back in the day. Others were about Joanne. She even told me a couple about some of the ruder customers she's had wander into the shop, some of which still live in the neighborhood.

After we had finished cleaning, she led me towards the back of the building.

"Now," she said, "I bet you're wondering where all the flowers are!"

"Flowers? In a flower shop?" I joked.

She let out a polite chuckle, "Well, this is where I keep the goods."

She then opened one of the doors into a room that was completely refrigerated, way more high tech than I imagined. Inside the room were dozens of flower bouquets. Some were more extravagant, yet others were simple cut flowers dressed in a nice wrapping. I recognized most of them as the flowers from Gail's personal garden. Needless to say, it was impressive. _Wonder where she got the money to pay for this… there's no way she could afford a system this big._

Gail could see the shock on my face. "I know. It's pretty big, huh?"

That was an understatement. Now I knew why the storefront looked so tiny, the rest of the house was being used as storage space.

She grabbed some of the flowers and began bringing then out to the front to set up the display. After that was taken care of, she showed me the basics of running the store. How to run the register, how to long sales, all of the basic orientation crap that you learn on the first day.

Around 10:30, Gail tuned the sign next to the door from closed, to open.

"Now," she started, "I don't really have any set hours, depending on the day I just stay open until the customers stop coming, however we do open at 10:30."

She propped open the door with something that looked like an old clothing iron. "Since you're just getting started, you can close around five 'o'clock. Sound good?"

I nodded.

"Great." She smiled at me. "Alrighty, I think that'll just about do it. I'm gonna head back to the house for the day. Catch up on my soaps, read my books. Ya' know, typical frail old ladystuff." She chuckled at her own sarcasm, so did I.

We said our goodbyes, and I was alone.

* * *

Running a flower store in the middle of nowhere was incredibly boring. Not that I was exactly surprised by this discovery.

Besides watching the dust begin to reappear on the windowsills or watching the wind rustle through the trees outside, there wasn't much for me to do. I did everything that was required of me, more than once. In fact, in the first hour of me being there alone I think I wiped down the windows at least four times.

The highlight of the day was when I was snooping through the storage closet and found an old radio. However, when I plugged it in, the only station that was working was country music. I decided I preferred the silence. Around one, the sun that had greeted me earlier in the day faded, and the rain clouds returned. At least the sound of the rain would keep me company.

Eventually, I had absolutely nothing to do but sit and wait. At one point, I reached in my back pocket to retrieve my phone, only to remember that I no longer had one. One more thing to put on my to-do list. I got out the yellow pad that Gail told me to use for logging purchases and began playing a game of what I called "Extreme Tic Tac Toe" by myself.

After nearly three solo games, I heard the doorbell chime. Finally, someone had come to relieve me of my misery. I quickly put my pen and paper away and looked up to find that it was none other than Leah Clearwater.

She didn't look as surprised as I was, considering she knew that I was running the place. She even greeted me with the same tight-lipped smile as the day before. On the upside, if she knew that I was going to be here she wouldn't have come if she didn't like me. At least, I hoped.

 _"She just must be really awkward, then."_ I thought.

"Oh, hi!" I greeted, "You're Leah, right?" I internally cringed at myself. As if I already didn't know her name.

"Yeah." She directed herself towards the closest flower display, obviously lacking interest in conversation.

I watched as she perused through the display, mainly looking at the price tags versus the flowers themselves. She picked up a bouquet of yellow and white daisies, then set them down at the register. As she began looking through the notecard stand, I found the flowers on the price list and logged them into the notepad.

While writing down the price of the flowers into the pad, I couldn't help but notice that she had chosen the cheapest bouquet from the display. Clouds of judgment passed through my mind and I internally cringed at myself once again. Who was I to judge this woman for what she decided to buy? I didn't know anything about her personal experience.

 _"Well, she lives with her mother, so she obviously doesn't have that much money."_ My inner demon spat at me. I brushed him away. This was probably the reason I grew up having no friends. I'm too judgmental.

While sifting through my own inner turmoil, Leah found the card that she was looking for. She handed it to me so I could ring it up. It was a blue card with the image of cartoon toy blocks spelling out the words, "It's A Boy!"

"Did Emily have her baby?" I asked, she was the only pregnant woman I knew of in La Push.

Leah once again showed her resentment when talking about the pregnancy, but she was polite enough to answer. "Yeah, she went into labor last night. Had the kid around seven this morning."

"Wow, that's so exciting!" _What a typical-ass response. I'm so bad at this whole "making friends" thing._

"Yeah."

There was suddenly an awkward silence between the two of us, and I realized that she was waiting for me to charge her for what she was buying.

"Oh, right. That will be 16.50"

She reached in her back pocket to get her payment, then the other pocket. A look of defeat went across her face. She didn't have any money with her. "Shit. Give me one second."

She walked back towards the entrance, and instead of going back to her car, she shouted at it. Someone else was with her. Since the door was closed, I couldn't hear much unless she screamed super loud, which she did at one point in order to say, "Because my wallet is sitting in the seat next to you, dumbass!"

She walked back inside, looking very annoyed. The person she was screaming at followed quickly behind her, but stopped as soon as he walked in.

He was one of the largest men I have ever seen in my life. He was so tall that he had to hunch over just to make it under the doorframe, and his large build took up the entirety of the doorway. His macho demeanor and physique made him look completely out of place compared to the overall daintiness of the flower shop, and he looked just as uncomfortable to be inside it. He had dark hair, dark eyes, tan skin, and looked like he could knock anyone out with a single hit. Essentially, he was my worst nightmare.

As I was studying the new face, he looked up at my own. There was a sudden shift in the room as we made eye contact, and his response was nothing short of confusing for the average person. He went from looking perplexed, to angry, to completely sedated in a matter of seconds. Although I couldn't see my own expression, I was sure that I looked uncomfortable due to what Leah said next.

"Are you okay?"

I startled at the question. It was as if her friend had put me in some kind of trance, and I wouldn't have been able to look away if she hadn't pulled me out. I scoffed at my thought process. Friend. Even though I found the man intimidating and, quite frankly, terrifying, I couldn't deny that he was incredibly attractive. Unless they weren't attracted to women, a man like that was never just friendswith a woman as beautiful as Leah.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just… um… zoned out is all." I turned my attention back to the notepad. "It was 16.50."

"Card okay?"

"Yeah, I'll take it."

She handed me her credit card and I swiped it on the medieval pin pad that was connected to the old desktop. My mind went elsewhere as I stared at the screen, waiting for it to confirm the purchase.

"So, you're new around here, then?" an unfamiliar voice tore my eyes from the computer.

It was Leah's boyfriend.

My mind went through a million different outcomes in the three seconds it took for me to respond, wondering what I should say or if I should say nothing at all.

I went with something simple. "Yes."

He looked like he was about to ask a follow up question, but the computer made a high-pitched noise, approving the transaction and saving me from the promise of an awkward conversation.

"Would you like a receipt?" I quickly asked, hoping that I wasn't coming across as too transparent.

"Um… no. I'm good." Leah said. She looked at me like I was crazy. I failed. "C'mon, everyone else is already at the hospital." She turned towards her boyfriend. I swear I could physically feel his eyes on me.

She started walking towards the door, only to realize that he wasn't following her. He was still staring at me. "Paul! Let's get going you freak."

The man, Paul, finally moved from his planted position at the end of my desk. With annoyance and reluctance written all over his face, he followed her out of the store.

My voice seemed lost, but I managed to squeak out a quiet "thank you" as they left.

The anxiety didn't hit until I saw their truck leave the property. And it hit hard.

 _What the hell was that?_

 _If Leah didn't think I was a freak before, she certainly did now. Not only was I incredibly, incrediblyawkward when she first walked in, but I had practically frozen in my seat at the mere sight of her boyfriend. I must've looked like a deer in the headlights when he walked in. And why? Sure, men were gross and scary and terrifying, especially men as… large ... as Paul. But he didn't do anything, not really. He just walked in and asked me a standard question for someone who just moved in the neighborhood._

 _Well, after he gave me the stare of a thousand stares._

 _What was that anyway? I don't even know what that whole thing was. His expression. My own. The eye contact. Jesus Christ, the eye contact. We must've been looking at each other for a solid minute. Did he want to look away? Or was he the one fueling the fire. He probably thought I was a freak too. Who reacts that way to someone they just met? I must have looked like an asshole when I started ignoring him towards the end._

 _I really need to get over my irrational fear of men._

 _Leah probably thought I was trying to flirt with him or something, Jesus. Now I looked like a freak who was also trying to steal her boyfriend. God dammit, what the hell is wrong with me?_

In the middle of my emotional tirade, I heard the door open once again. Despite my immediate reaction to run and hide, it wasn't Leah and Paul coming to tell me off. It was Gail with a lunchbox.

"Hello dearie." She said as she walked in, "Thought I'd bring you something to eat since you still got a couple of hours left. Anyone come on by?"

'Um. Yeah." I said, still flustered, "Leah Clearwater came by actually."

She put the food down on the desk. "Oh, really? What for?"

"Her friend Emily had the baby, actually. I think it's a boy."

"Oh, goodness! How exciting! I wonder what kind of arrangement I should make, then."

As she went on babbling to herself about the different kinds of flowers she could give Emily, I opened up the lunchbox to find a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a banana, a mini bottle of water, and a pack of apple sauce. Very middle school.

As much as I appreciated the thought of Gail coming all this way to bring me lunch, I didn't have an appetite. I couldn't help but think it was due to my uncomfortable run in with the only customers I had that day.

"Oh!" exclaimed Gail. She reached in the shoulder bag she brought with her and pulled out a tiny book. "I thought I would bring this to you while I came down here, fished it out of one of my old book cases. Had dust on it and everything. Of course, I know everything in there word for word, but I thought you could find it to be useful while running the shop."

It was entitled "Flowers and Their Meanings: A Guide for a Novice Florist". I turned to the first page, which had an inscription. It read:

 _To my sweet Georgia peach, hope you find this useful. Look up the meaning of a red tulip when you get the chance, I think you'll get the message._

 _Love, Johnny_

"Thank you. This is really cool." Using the term 'cool' to describe something as sentimental as that book made me feel completely useless, but I didn't know what else to say.

"Yes ma'am. As you can see, Johnny gave that to me as a gift when the shop first opened up. You really will find it useful, hun. You'd be surprised by how many men come in asking for flowers that 'say you're sorry' and all that junk. Too many cheating bastards in the whole damn county come here."

She looked out the window, "Well, I should head on back. Don't want to get caught up in another drizzle. I'll see you later!"

With that, she hobbled out the door and headed back to the house. I was alone again. At least the book she brought me provided some sort of entertainment. Out of curiosity, I perused through the pages.

Ironically, the first entry that caught my eye was none other than a daisy. It read:

 _The daisy, or Bellis perennis, is a flower that often symbolizes innocence and purity. In many myths and legends, God would plant a daisy over the graves of infants that died prematurely in order to cheer up the suffering parents. The scientific name stems from another myth in which Vertumnus, god of seasons, fell in love with a nymph called Belides. The nymph, not feeling for Vertumnus in the slightest, turned herself into a daisy in order to escape his affection. It is from this myth that the flower derives its secondary meanings of chastity and transformation_

Next to the entry was a minimalist drawing of a daisy. The book was actually more interesting than I had hoped. I turned to the Washington state flower, the Pacific rhododendron, out of curiosity. There was no entry for that one, but it had an entry for a regular rhododendron. It read:

 _The rhododendron, or Rhododendron ferrugineum, is a flower that often grows in Asia, but has also been seen in areas such as the Appalachian Mountains. The flower often symbolizes danger and is used as a warning. This is due to the poisonous nature of the flower when consumed in large amounts. The name itself alludes to the rose-like colors of the flower's petals._

Thinking back to Gail's husband's inscription in the front, I turned to the entry on tulips.

 _While the tulip (Tulipa) has many different meanings depending on the color, the end result is the same: tulips represent a strong, perfect love. However, the different colors have their own secondary meanings. Purple tulips represent royalty, white tulips send a message of forgiveness, and variegated tulips represent beautiful eyes. Yellow tulips have changed their meaning multiple times over the years, but they mainly represent hopeless love. In some instances, yellow tulips often represent specific phrases such as, "There is sunshine in your smile." A more simple meaning, the red tulip symbolizes an undying, passionate love._

Undying, passionate love. That's what Johnny was referring to in the inscription, his undying love for Gail. How sweet. The more I heard of Gail and Johnny, the more I grew envious of the relationship they had. If only I was capable of exposing myself, emotionally, like that.

I put the book down as I heard the tapping on the roof. It was raining once again, Gail had been correct in her assumption. I wandered over to the window and looked out, then looked at the clock against the wall. It was just past three. Two more hours of silence and loneliness. It was ironic, really. In high school and college all I wanted was to be alone, now that I had it I just wanted someone to talk to.

I spent the last couple of hours studying the flower guide. There wasn't much else for me to do. As interesting as it was, it felt like homework.

At 4:50, I took the flowers back to the refrigerator in the back, counted the money, and locked the doors. I decided that leaving ten minutes earlier wouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I put the sheet back on the sign out front, Gail said that it would confuse people on our days off if the sign was still up. Then, I walked back to the house.

The walk back started out as peaceful. I enjoyed the feeling of the raindrops falling on my hair and face. At one point, I stopped walking to listen to the sound of the woods. As I was listening to the rainfall and the squirrels jumping overhead, something else caught my attention. There was something rustling close by.

I turned towards the noise to discover that it was coming from outside the path, behind me. Even though it was only just past five, it was starting to get dark. I should have brought a weapon of sorts with me. I scanned the area, looking for something, anything, to defend myself. A large branch caught my eye. It was a little too thin, it couldn't have survived more than one hit, but it would have to do.

I grabbed the branch and stalked towards the noise. It started to get louder, too loud for it to be a squirrel or rabbit. I hoisted the branch overhead, prepared to strike. The rustling got louder, it was making its way towards me. I probably should have started running away, but an outside force was keeping me planted.

After the rustling reached its peak, it stopped altogether. In the suspense of the silence, I kept still. If it were a predator in the woods, like the wolves I heard the night before, then I needed to make no sudden movements. Suddenly, the cause of the rustling made itself known. Out of the woods popped out the predator I was so vigilant about.

It was a fawn.

I sighed in relief. I had gotten myself anxious over a baby deer.

Another concern reached my mind as I calmed myself. Where was the deer's mother? Fawns usually don't stray too far from their mothers, and the doe will do anything to make sure the fawn wouldn't be separated. I wandered off the trail slightly, moving slowly so I wouldn't cause the fawn to run off. There was no doe in sight.

Suddenly, there was a huge gust of wind that passed by me, and the shriek of an animal. I looked back towards the fawn, but it was gone.

 _What the hell? What was that?_ I looked in the dirt for the fawn's footprints, only to find there was nothing there. Not that the fawn hadn't made any prints, there were prints of when the fawn had walked out towards me, but none marking that it had left. It was as if the fawn had disappeared into the air.

As I contemplated what could have happened, I heard another sound of distress to my right. I went into the woods and followed the sound. It had led me to the sight of the fawn, its neck marked with an open wound and body covered in its own blood. It had been attacked, but it was still alive.

It was a horrific sight, and it made me gag. As much as I wanted to go comfort the dying animal, I knew that the predator was close by. Right as I was about to make my exit, the fawn was suddenly yanked by its leg into the shadows of the woods at an almost supernatural rate. I screamed and ran for my life.

After what seemed like an eternity, I had finally escaped the woods and reached the trail. But I didn't stop from there, I ran as fast as I could all the way back to the house. Once I was inside, I slammed the door behind me and locked it, still breathing rapidly from the running.

Gail must've heard the door slam, because she came running down the hall in her nightgown with a shotgun in her hands. I didn't know that she had guns in the house, I guess that was good to know for future reference.

Once she saw me, she withdrew her weapon and set it down on the couch. "God almighty, child, what the hell happened to you?"

I looked in the mirror on the wall next to me. I was covered in leaves, scratches, and blood. The smaller branches in the woods must have struck me as I was running.

"I- I don't know." I said in between gasps. "I thought I saw something. In the woods. I don't know."

She looked concern, but there was an underlying emotion that I couldn't point out. She was hiding something. She walked over to the window, looked outside, and shut the curtains.

"It was probably just a mountain lion." She answered. "Sometimes, they like to come down into the woods when they are chasing prey."

Yeah. That made sense. The mountain lion must have attacked the doe, then followed the fawn into the woods. It made sense.

"Yeah. You're right." I looked down at my current state. There were leaves everywhere, and I was covered in dirt. I must have fallen at some point. "I should go hop in the shower."

Gail smiled at me, then put a hand on my shoulder. "That sounds good, dear. Are you sure you're okay?" she brushed my hair out of my face. "You look really shook up."

"I'm fine. Just tired from the running, is all."

Gail knew better, but she let it pass anyways, "Alright. Dinner will be ready when you get out."

Eating was the last thing I wanted to do, but I already refused one meal of her's today, I didn't want to turn away another.

"Okay. I'll be right out."

As I washed the dirt and blood from my face, I couldn't help but think back on the attack. The gust of wind and the shriek I heard when I was looking for the doe, was that the mountain lion attacking the fawn?

If so, the wind that hit me as a result was huge. Even a mountain lion couldn't produce a gust that big. Unless it was closer than I had anticipated, but I didn't even want to think about that. Besides, I had walked at least eight to ten feet away from the fawn. There was no way that a predator the size of a mountain lion caused that breeze.

Then what was it?

In my head, the scene of the fawn being pulled into the shadows replayed over and over again. It was so fast. It looked like the fawn's neck snapped at the mere force of the pull…

 _Stop it! It was just a mountain lion. What else could it have been?_

Exactly. It was a mountain lion.

I turned off the shower and headed back into my room to get dressed. I would have to wear the same pajamas as last night. I didn't have anything else. After I was dressed, I went back to the bathroom to brush my hair.

I looked at my face in the mirror and said to myself, "Calm down. Everything is okay. You're safe."

I was fine. I was safe in La Push.

I was safe here. I just had yet to convince myself.

* * *

 **I** **want to clarify that there is a lot of italicization in the chapter, as you can see lol. I meant to make it look like that it was Gwen's thoughts. I got tired of writing "I thought" after everything to keep it past tense. I also formatted letters and journal entries this way, I hope it makes sense. If not, please let me know!**

 **I had more time on my hands than expected, so maybe I should up the posting period to once a week? Can't guarantee anything. T** **o everyone who gave this a follow thank you! I wasn't sure what to expect but 20 followers for one chapter is a great start. And thanks to sailorjules, Sworn2Kill, CupCakesCult II and the guest for giving this a review! Keep them coming.. please validate me lol.**


	3. Chapter 3

**THIS ISN'T AN UPDATE. ALSO I'M SORRY.**

 **Hi readers!**

 **Not only have I not had a lot of time to work on this last chapter, (I'm a college student and finals were kicking my ass) but while working on the latest chapter my computer died and when I restarted it the file became corrupt. It saved a separate file, but it's a version thats about 2500 words behind. I tried recovering the original file, but its completely dead so theres no use. :) Im broken :) love life :) I'm working on rewriting what was lost... which is difficult. If you're really looking forward to chapter three, know that I'm working on it! Bear with me lol. I know I said I'd update about a week ago, but its a struggle.**

 **Also: I updated some character info that would make the story make more sense, if you can spot the difference. Nothing to do with Gwen or Paul, so overall it doesn't effect the plot. If you noticed a change in Gail's backstory then that's why!**

 **I'll be back with an update soon! I'm working on it right now and I got a huge pot of coffee brewing so I won't stop until I pass out!**

xx


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